Tuesday, June 12, 2018

A DARK MEMORY AND A VALUABLE TRUTH (EWC4U Original ISP piece - 73 lines)

Grief crept inside her bones
It felt like a cold room
Constantly closing in
Four concrete walls
Walls that reminded her of the night it all went wrong

But that cold room was just her bedroom
And she never left her bed
Not since it happened

Her bed didn’t feel like her bed anymore
Her face didn’t look like her face anymore
Her clothes didn’t fit like her clothes anymore
She didn’t feel like herself anymore

She hoped staying in bed would remind her
Remind her that it was her bed
It was her face
It was her clothes
And it was her

She hadn’t changed
But she didn’t know that
Not at first
And not yet
But she will learn and she will grow

Through a dark memory
Sprouts a valuable truth
Despite getting hurt along the way
Despite having learned things she never wanted to learn

What she wanted to know was how to fix the pain
How she could let someone in again
And how she could love herself again

Every mile of skin felt distant
Her soul had drained out of her
Until she was a stranger to herself
She wondered how to love herself when she didn’t even feel like herself anymore
The anxiety hung over her
Like a thick shadow
Following her every move

What if she could never love again
What if she never felt a warm inviting touch again
What if she’d never be able to get past this

But she will
She doesn’t know it
But she will

And when that day comes it will feel like her bed again
And it will look like her face again
And it will feel like her clothes fit again
And it will be her again

She will come to know herself in a new light
Reborn and better
With a stronger soul
A wider smile
And brighter eyes

A spark will light from inside her
And it’ll never burn out
Not like it did on the night it all went wrong

She will learn to love herself again
And she will learn to let someone in again
She will no longer feel stuck in that cold room
Surrounded by those concrete walls

She will find herself watching sunsets
She will find herself running through a field of wildflowers
She will find herself smiling under the sun
But most importantly,
She will find herself in the arms of the one she loves
In the arms of the one she trusts

And it will feel euphoric
To love and be loved once again
In the presence of happiness
That was once lost

The thick shadow will leave her
And the time it took to love once again
Will be well worth the wait
Because that dark memory
Brought her a valuable truth